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The High-Five Habit: What is it? Why does it work? Why is the high-five habit critical for lawyers? Bring the weather Build a habit of appreciation Use the five second rule Take a hot 15 to change your life
In an ever-evolving and challenging world, lawyers often find themselves battling stress, negativity, and a demanding workload. But, Mel Robbins—acclaimed speaker, New York Times bestselling author, and at one time, a lawyer herself—believes you’re always one decision away from a different life. With a few simple habits, you can tip the dominoes of your life towards long-lasting change, transform your outlook, improve your mental well-being, and, as a legal professional, make you more effective and supportive of your clients and colleagues.
We sat down with Mel Robbins at the Clio Cloud Conference—where she gave an energizing keynote speech—to pick her brain a little more about what lawyers can do to thrive in their legal careers and personal lives.
The High-Five Habit: What is it?
The High Five Habit is an uncomplicated practice that Mel Robbins believes every person on the planet should adopt. Its premise is straightforward: You simply add a high five in the mirror with yourself to your morning routine. “Without saying a word, high-five yourself and send yourself into the day,” said Mel.
Why does it work?
It sounds simple, but thanks to the science of neurobics, this small gesture will give you a hit of dopamine and set a positive tone for the day. Your brain already recognizes the gesture. Just think about how you feel when you high-five anyone else. “Have you ever high-fived someone and thought ‘I hate you?’ It’s not possible,” pointed out Mel. “Neurobics is the fastest way to program a new thought as a habit, because you’re marrying a physical action with a positive thought.”
In this way, the high-five habit helps rewire any negative, pessimistic, and argumentative mindset to be more positive, accepting, and motivating.
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Why is the high-five habit critical for lawyers?
A trial lawyer herself for many years, Mel is no stranger to the pessimistic, untrusting, critical, and analytical default mindset that pervades the profession. “It’s what makes you successful as a lawyer, because it’s what drives you being innovative, creative in your thinking,” she said. “The problem is, that skillset of being able to analyze things to death and argue until you’re blue in the face gets directed right back at us. You can’t be that way at work without constantly doing that to yourself.”
When you self-criticize and constantly focus only on what is going wrong or what could go wrong, that’s incredibly demotivating. On the flip side, cultivating optimism and the ability to focus on what’s going right is going to help you with happiness, with stress, and as a leader in your firm. In turn, that’s going to have a direct impact on your relationships at home and at work.
Bring the weather
For law firm leaders, the biggest opportunity for success is in cultivating a law firm culture where colleagues care about each other. That’s no small feat in an environment such as law, where Mel argues there is always a baseline level of stress that comes with practicing, whether you do high-pressure trials or wills and estates, and where there’s an ingrained culture of always focusing on what is wrong or what could go wrong.
But, Mel pointed to a favorite quote of hers: “leaders bring the weather.”
“Whether you’re a partner or associate or someone else at a firm, and you’re a ball of stress, and you’re snapping at people, you have just created the tone and the culture of your firm,” she said. “Bring the weather. Put yourself in pause. Be the person in the firm where everything isn’t a five alarm fire drill. That changes everything with regards to you, and how people feel working with you.”
Build a habit of appreciation
Another way to bring the weather? Focus on what people are doing right. “Make it a habit every single day to start your morning by sending one message to somebody that you work with telling them one thing that they did yesterday that you appreciated and why,” advised Mel. “Why? As leaders, we make the mistake of thinking that people know how we feel about them—but they don’t.”
Sharing appreciation shifts your culture, and beyond simply creating a more pleasant working environment, your team will work harder for you, and will be more productive with their time. What’s not to like?
Use the five second rule
What do you do when you need to make a change, or start a new habit, but you hesitate and can’t bring yourself to do it? Use the five second rule.
The five second rule is a brain hack that gives you instant courage, instant motivation, and instant confidence. It works like this: If you hesitate or your emotions rise up, count backwards, 5,4,3,2,1 get up. “Counting backwards interrupts all self-sabotaging patterns of behavior. It requires focus, which engages your prefrontal cortex. That’s the part of the brain you use when thinking strategically, or changing behavior, and it helps you take control in moments when things feel out of control,” explains Mel.
But there’s one big caveat to the five-second rule: You need to lead by example, because others will only change when they’re ready.
“Change is deeply personal, and people will only do it when they’re ready. There’s no amount of inspiration, cajoling, etc. that you can do to make someone else change,” she said.
To make change stick, Mel advises, “Change is a lot of work, so don’t bother taking on any kind of change that you don’t really want or see value in.”
Take a hot 15 to change your life
Mel Robbins has an incredibly successful career, and she’s built everything, from her businesses to her podcast, using something she calls the hot 15. “The hot 15 is 15 minutes a day that I take to inch forward something that matters to me,” she explained. It might be a Google search, listening to a podcast, or reading a blog post, but doing something every day to keep that momentum going makes a huge difference. Simple, small decisions add up to massive change.
We often hear from lawyers that they don’t have a spare 15 minutes each day, but Mel challenged this point, admonishing lawyers to do what they can to wake up 15 minutes earlier and take a hot 15 to start their day. “Inch it forward before the workday starts,” she said, “because let’s face it, the second you check your phone, as a lawyer, your day is over.”
Whether you start using the high-five habit, the five second rule, or the hot 15, you’ll be taking a step in the right direction. Your decision to start is that one decision that will bring you to a different life.
Want to hear from more incredible speakers like Mel Robbins? The keynote speakers at each year’s Clio Cloud Conference never disappoint. Get your passes for 2024 now!
We published this blog post in November 2023. Last updated: .
Categorized in: Clio
